Ways to Improve Yourself
This month, contributing editor Mike Peake meditates on how to feel goood!
[In no Order Whatsoever]
County Clare, Ireland
Once a month, East Clare Yoga Centre — a family run rural retreat just 40 minutes from Shannon Airport — holds a residential yoga weekend, where you can turn up, borrow a leotard and bend into shapes you’ve previously only seen in rude films.
2 Weight loss
Mijas, Malaga, Spain
Knock your body into shape with the dizzying raft of fitness programmes on offer at the Clublight Fitness Retreat. Set in the upmarket, 400ha La Cala Resort, Clublight can hook you up with a personal trainer whose six-day regime should be just what you need.
3 Cool teeth
The website shows posh chairs and people with smiling faces – certainly not what you’d expect from a cut-price dental facility in Budapest. If your teeth have a whiff of the MacGowan about them, this is the place to change your look while still clinging on to your cash.
You could buy a “sounds of the desert” CD and try walking through your local Center Parcs – but for a more authentic chillout experience, try a week in Marrakesh with Responsibletravel.com, featuring plenty of non-hippie trips to keep it all interesting.
Prague, Czech Republic
For €3,200, a man in a white coat will cut open your nose, remove the bits that had you christened “Manilow” at school, and sew you back up again. They should do a good job at Prague Beauty Clinc, too, as all Czech Republic surgeons must undergo years of training.
6 Eye surgery
Most people going to Norway are in search of whales and fjords, but if you’re in no position to see such beauty without specs the thickness of glaciers, a stop-off at Scanhealth clinic is worth a visit. Their laser-eye facilities are said to be state of the art.
There’s nothing more impressive than learning a new tongue, and a smattering of Italian is always going to make you sound cooler than a smidgeon of Swahili. Two weeks of intensive lessons at the Michelangelo language school costs just €440.
8 Breast implants
Not for everyone, obviously, but at the Wellness Kliniek in Belgium, less than an hour from Brussels, a new set of boobs are yours from just €1,999, and that’s among the keenest prices in Europe. As we all know, Belgium equals brisk efficiency, too.
Cap d’Agde, France
A fine clothes-free option is France’s Atlantic coast just south of Arcachon, where nudie spots abound. But if you’re serious about baring all, check out the “Naked City” at Cap d’Agde on the Mediterranean – it’s got more flesh than a Greek orgy.
Bad Sulza, Germany
Located in the “Tuscany of the East”, Toskana spa has become a big hit with those looking to unwind/bathe in the ruddy big salty pool at Bad Sulza where music is piped through the water. A whole range of treatments adds to the dreamy vibe of the place.